The Monday Memo: How to Change Other People

Have you ever known someone who, when you look at the work they do or how they live, makes you thing, “Man, they could do or be so much more if they would only… (fill in your favorite fix-it message here)!” Maybe it is a team member at the office, a friend, a child or niece or nephew…it’s frustrating isn’t it, to see their potential and how they are allowing it to wither and die. Or maybe it’s worse than that, they have the talent but they are misdirecting it into “less desirable” pursuits!

As a business coach I’ve had the great fortune to be around many business owners, leaders, founders and entrepreneurs with great ideas and potential that never made it. For one of many reasons their idea was not able to overpower the most limiting Critical Performance Attribute of their business.

See, in spite of the title of this post, the truth is that we…YOU…cannot change another person. You can ask, you can lead, you can influence, you can guilt, and you can pressure…but at the end of the day the decision to change is up to them, not your.

In 2018 my son passed away. He was a few weeks shy of his 30th birthday when his lifestyle choices finally took their toll. In spite of our consistent prodding and pleading to make a change, he refused. For the last few years of his life my greatest worry was not that he would die, I believe I’d already come to terms with that. My greatest fear is that something would happen, he would die alone, and no one would know. His life did not end that way, in fact it ended surrounded by those that loved him most, and for that I’m thankful.

In all my searching for some kind of rationale in the story of his life, I came across this quote from Ghandi, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Typically you see this quote applied in the macro sense…changing the world…and there is definitely an application there, especially in today’s environment of social discord. But it also applies in the micro.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Mahatma Gandhi

We all live in our own little world, worlds that overlap with others. And it is at those intersections that we can make a difference. Hopefully, I can make a positive impact from time to time on the place where your world and mine intersect.

When you see that under-performing individual…the one with so much more potential than they are demonstrating… when you catch yourself wishing they would “step up,” instead ask yourself what YOU need to do to step up. Show them what it means to step up. Ask them to step up with you, and when they ask why, tell them it’s how you get ahead in life!

Whether they choose to step up with you or not isn’t up to you, but either way, you’ll be ahead…and that makes YOU a leader!


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7 Minutes In the Morning – How To Be Limitless!

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless” ~Jamie Paolinetti

Have you ever seen a scary movie or had a nightmare? They use your imagination to create obstacles to your actions. And we don’t need the movies to do that, we’re plenty good on our own. Most people are pretty good at looking at a set of circumstances and letting the potential NEGATIVE outcomes prevent them from acting.

Well, let’s turn that on its head today. What if you use your imagination to see the potentially POSITIVE outcomes in a set of circumstances and use that vision of what could be to pull you into action?! What could you accomplish TODAY if you CHOSE to see the positive potential in every circumstance?

And if you get stuck, you’re in a circumstance that you just can’t see a positive in, remember the words of Chief Tecumseh, “When you rise in the morning, give thanks…for the joy of living. If you can find no reason to give thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.”

Go out and make today…THE BEST DAY EVER!



How To Make Difficult Decisions

What do you do when you’re faced with a difficult decision? Keep working (or work harder) on the business…or shut it down? Stick with this problem employee…or let them go? Sell the 30-year-old family business…or refinance?

These are just a few of the questions business owners and leaders face every day, and they’re tough! And if this is your first time in the entrepreneurial pool…then can be even tougher.

On today’s installment of 7 Minutes in the Morning, Thom will wrap up the week and talk about how to make difficult decisions!

Knowing When To Give Up

Have you ever had that feeling that maybe this just wasn’t meant to be? Even though I’ve worked really hard at it, for a long time, I should just cut my losses now?

The good news is, everyone who has ever tried something new, difficult, and/or worthwhile has felt that way…so you’re in really good company. The BETTER news is…well, watch or listen to the podcast…I don’t want to give it ALL away here!

Overcoming Limits (and Limiting Beliefs!)

Question of the day: What do you want to do but believe you are unqualified or unable to do?

Have you ever known someone who constantly believed they were falling prey to the latest malady in the news? Cancer from styrofoam cups? Yep! Flesh-eating bacteria? You know…my arm has been itching a lot…!

There is a medical condition known as hypochondria where your mind convinces you that you have a condition…so your body begins to act like you have that condition! It becomes a self-reinforcing condition!

So here’s my thought…if you mind is powerful enough to make you sick…why can’t you mind be powerful enough to make you well? Or in the context of your work or business…if your mind can prevent you from being successful, why can’t your mind assist you in being successful!?!?

You’ve probably heard the old axiom “fake it till you make it,” right? Well, there’s definitely a bit of truth in that. In EVERY successful endeavor, the first person you have to convince that it’s going to work…is YOU!

How many times have you seen a great opportunity but passes on it because of {insert your weak excuse here}!

STOP Doing That!

Instead, find the reasons why you should jump head-long into that opportunity and make it a winner. Remember, there are a million reasons why not, only one great reason why!

Drop a comment below and let us know what opportunity you are going to move on today! Make a commitment then take action to make it real! It’s the only way to change your future!

What Wants You?

What is the one thing that you keep coming back to, time and time again? It keeps calling to you and you just can’t get it out of your head? Have you ever wondered why that is?

Because you are uniquely gifted, talented and placed to have an abundant life and do work that matters, you are like a puzzle piece, uniquely shaped to fill a given spot in the masterpiece. That means you have at least one matching piece out there somewhere…and it is calling to you! Unless you answer that call and do you part, there will always be a gap, a hole, an unfinished piece! You don’t want that do you?

Someone needs to benefit from your contribution. They need the product you offer, the service you provide, they need to hear what YOU have to say!

But answering that call will lead you into the unknown, the unfamiliar, and therefore will be at least a little bit scary! But hey, what great accomplishment comes without risk!

Indeed, as Emerson said, everything you want is out there and it also wants you. Like two magnets you will be drawn together to create something much greater than either one on your own can produce. Just think what great things you could do if you redirected your focus away from maintaining the status quo and toward success!

Go forth boldly today, with confidence, and pursue that which you desire…it’s trying to find you too!

Why You Can’t Throw That Ugly Lamp Away!

Before you knew how to ride a bike (and maybe while you were learning) you may have thought it was impossible. For thousands of years, people believed it was impossible for mankind to take to the skies.

You are looking at some limitation, constraint, or obstacle today and thinking it is impossible to overcome, yet, all your limitations live only in your mind. Everything is possible. It may require sacrifice or difficult choices…but Everything is on the table for you today!

Why Average is Good Enough

What are you not trying because you don’t feel qualified or ready?

I love this quote from Bruce Lee because it calls it perfectly…greatness is present in everyone, even the average person, but it requires effort to achieve.

With all the opportunity for distraction available to us…literally in the palm of your hand…we often fall prey to Distraction Over Action. We know that the next task or project is going to be taxing, stressful, or lengthy so we opt for a “quick” distraction. That quick distraction turns into a long one, the BAM…off your game.

One of the best ways I’ve found to defeat DOA is with block scheduling. Schedule a block of time, say 20 minutes, to focus on one task. Turn off all your notifications, don’t check email or answer the phone…just focus. You will be amazed at what you can accomplish in a short period of time.

How do you avoid DOA and get that To Do list knocked out? Leave your best tip in the comments!

Why Cash Is NOT King!

You’ve probably heard the old saying that Cash Is King…right? What if it’s not?

As business owners and leaders, the odds can feel like they’re stacked against us. With more than 90% of new businesses not making it through the first five years, and their demise often attributed to inadequate funding (wrong, but that’s for another day) it’s easy to understand why so many businesses chase the money. But there’s another currency you should be chasing instead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AKmcH4fADo

Harold Geneen once said, “In business, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.”

Chasing the cash turns every customer interaction into a transaction. The truth is, this is very transparent to the customer, and many times they are fine with that. But there it also prevents the development of a relationship and any semblance of customer loyalty.

Now, I’m not saying you should do the work for free, but do consider what you are gaining from every interaction. There is something you can learn…and that might be worth much more than cash!

So You’re Too Busy?

So, how have you been? How’s the business?

I find myself asking this question a lot at networking or other meetings where I’m running into people I know. It’s a pretty common greeting. Do you know what answer I get frequently? “Well, I’ve been pretty busy!” (or some variant of that)

While we’re taking a little break from the daily grind this week at the beach, I wanted to remind you that busy does not equal effective. In fact, it is a terrible measure of how things are going. The hamster is busy, and not moving an inch.

In my live workshop Making Time for Success, one of the key concepts addresses the mistaken idea that time management is about efficiency. The efficient use of time is to get more done is the same amount of time. This is wrong.

What you really want is the more effective use of your time…getting the right things done in the allotted time. This requires some hard decisions!

Right now, how many items are on your to-do list? I want you to take an honest inventory and identify everything on that list that, if you NEVER did them, nothing adverse would happen. You are probably like a lot of people that use a lengthy to-do list as a crutch to help you feel better about not getting anything done…but you’re busy!

I want you to go through your list and pick the five most important things on your list. The items you pick should all take less than a day to complete (if they are bigger than one day, break them down into day-sized chunks).

Now, armed with your next five moves…pick the one item that will have the greatest impact on your life if you do it today. That item is now your priority. Get that done first, then knock out the other four. Then tomorrow…rinse and repeat.

This is the P+4F method at work. You can find a video explaining it in more detail on my website (link in bio). Use it and it will change your life. Keep doing what you’ve been doing…and you’ll keep getting what you already have!